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DO I HAVE A JOB?
DO I HAVE A JOB?
DO I HAVE A JOB?
DO I HAVE A JOB?
DO I HAVE A JOB?
  • DO I HAVE A JOB?
  • DO I HAVE A JOB?
  • DO I HAVE A JOB?
  • DO I HAVE A JOB?
DO I HAVE A JOB?

DO I HAVE A JOB?

SODLAITE AND GOLD VERMEIL
220,00 €

THIS SET IS AN ODE TO ANYBODY WHO'S WAS NOT A LONG-TERM FIT. 

DETAILS

OBCTIVELY

TWO NECKLACES

HAND MADE FROM BLUE SODALITE IN 14MM AND 8MM DIAMETER SIZE. HARD-KNOTTED AND CLOSED WITH GOLD VERMEIL OR STERLING SILVER.

• BLUE SODALITE, STERLING SILVER, NYLON
• HAND MADE IN MADEIRA WITH FUN AND KINDNESS



CONCEPTUALLY

"DO I HAVE A JOB?" WAS CREATED DURING A PERIOD IN WHICH OUR CHIEF CEO RELIED HEAVILY ON NONSENSICAL HUMOUR AS A MEANS OF METABOLISING HER FORMER CAREER AS A BIOMETHANE SALES TRADER.

DID YOU KNOW THAT A GUARANTEE OF ORIGIN CAN BE TRADED ACROSS EUROPE MORE THAN THREE TIMES BEFORE ANYBODY ACTUALLY BURNS THE GAS?

AND THAT WHILE CARBON MARKETS ARE NOT RELIGIOUS, THEY DO REQUIRE FAITH?

DO I HAVE A JOB?
I'M CERTAINLY NOT GOOD AT IT.

WHY DID YOU LET ME GO?
TAKE ME BACK PLEASE.

I LOVED LEAVING AGRESSIVE VOICE MAILS.

I LOVED COLD CALLING, TOO.

PLEASE TAKE ME BACK SIR
PLEASE
PLITH
I BEG.



YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

THIS PRODUCT SCORES CONSIDERABLY AVERAGE ON THE SERIOSITY SCALE. HOWEVER, IT IS NOT ENTIRELY SILLY EITHER.

AS SUCH, THIS PIECE IS BEST SUITED TO THOSE WHO MIGHT USE ABSURDITY AS A COPING MECHANISM, OR BETTER YET, PEOPLE WHO LOVE THEIR JOB.

IF YOU DO NOT, WE GENTLY RECOMMEND SOMETHING MORE STRUCTURALLY SERIOUS, SUCH AS “PLAYTIME IS OVEER”.



QUICK PING

FOR CUSTOM A SIZE OR PIECE, PLEASE CONTACT OUR HEAD CHIEF DEPUTY CEO +351 91 744 54 00.

WE ARE BUSY, LIKE IT'S SO INSANE. CHAOS AT THE GLOBAL HEADQUARTERS. SO BEFORE YOU MAKE MATTERS WORSE, PLEASE COMPLETE OUR “CUSTOMISE YOUR ORDER” QUESTIONNAIRE & (OPTIONALLY) OUR “ARE YOU SILLY OR SERIOUS?” QUIZ ATTACHED IN FOOTER.

THANKS.



OH ALSO

COMPLEMENTARY SHIPPING, RETURNS, AND EXCHANGES FOR ALL EU ORDERS ABOVE €200 GIVEN YOU VOW TO LIVE WITHIN A FRAMEWORK OF COMPASSION FOR YOURSELF AND OTHERS.



ONE LAST THING

10% OF OUR MONTHLY PROFITS ARE GIVEN TO ABRIGO NOSSA SENHORA DE FÁTIMA – LAR DE INFÂNCIA E JUVENTUDE.

IT'S A YOUTH SHELTER ON THE ISLAND OF MADEIRA.

WE'D LIKE TO DO OUR PART IN REDUCING CHILDHOOD SERIOSITY. THAT'S FOR ADULTS ONLY THANK YOU.
TDS SIZE SELECT SIZE
CLASP SELECT SIZE

CONTACT US

WELCOME TO THE DEAD SERIOUS JEWELLERY COMPANY. HOW CAN WE GENUINELY SERVE YOU?

FOR INQUIRIES OR ASSISTANCE PLEASE DO NOT HESITATE TO CONTACT US. WE ARE OPEN MONDAY THROUGH SATURDAY 9 AM UNTIL 7 PM, EXCLUDING BANK HOLIDAYS.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

YOU CAN USE THIS AREA TO CONSULT THE FAQS, FOLLOW YOUR ORDER AND TRACK YOUR RETURN.

FAQ

CHEIF CEO'S PERSONAL LINE

+351 91 744 54 00

MON-SAT: 9AM-7PM CET

EXCLUDING BANK HOLIDAYS.

CALL US

EMAIL

WE STRIVE TO REPLY TO YOU WITHIN 24H DURING WORKING NON BANK HOLIDAYS.

EMAIL US

INSTAGRAM DIRECT MESSAGE

FOR SERIOUS MATTERS, PLEASE REFRAIN FROM USING INSTAGRAM. WE USE THIS CHANNEL FOR SILLY COMMUNICATIONS ONLY. THANKS

DELIVERY TIME 6 - 8 WORKING DAYS

DO I HAVE A JOB?

DO I HAVE A JOB?

WE WILL INFORM AS SOON AS WE ARE BACK IN STOCK

MORE OF THE SAME

PLAYTIME IS OVEER

PLAYTIME IS OVEER

220,00 €

DETAILS

THIS SET IS AN ODE TO ANYBODY WHO'S WAS NOT A LONG-TERM FIT. 

SIZE GUIDE

DEAD SERIOUS JEWELLERY CO. ACCEPTS NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR MISCALCULATIONS ARISING FROM GUESSWORK. IF YOU ARE UNCERTAIN CONTACT ONE OF OUR AMBASSADORS ON INSTAGRAM @TDS.JWLR.

SIZE BIG-BALL NECKLACE LENGTHSMALL-BALL NECKLACE LENGTH
S/M 40 CM43.5 CM
M/L 45 CM48.5 CM

LENGTHS CORRESPOND TO THE INNER DIAMETER OF THE CLOSED PIECE, LAID FLAT IN A PERFECT CIRCLE.

THE SMALL-BALL NECKLACE RUNS LONGER, AS IT IS DESIGNED TO BE WRAPPED AROUND BIGGER BALLS.

SHOULD YOUR REQUIREMENTS FALL OUTSIDE THE ABOVE PARAMETERS, CUSTOM SIZING IS AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST.

PLEASE DIRECT ALL ENQUIRIES TO:

HELLO@TDSJWLR.COM OR VIA INSTAGRAM AT @TDS.JWLR

SIZE GUIDE

PLEASE VERIFY ALL MEASUREMENTS PRIOR TO SUBMITTING YOUR ORDER.

SIZE LENGTH
S 40 CM
M 45 CM
L 50 CM

LENGTHS CORRESPOND TO THE PIECE LAID FLAT IN A STRAIGHT HORIZONTAL LINE.

SHOULD YOUR REQUIREMENTS FALL OUTSIDE THE ABOVE PARAMETERS, CUSTOM SIZING IS AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST.

PLEASE DIRECT ALL ENQUIRIES TO:

HELLO@TDSJWLR.COM OR VIA INSTAGRAM AT @TDS.JWLR

SIZE GUIDE

PLEASE VERIFY ALL MEASUREMENTS PRIOR TO SUBMITTING YOUR ORDER.

DEAD SERIOUS JEWELLERY CO. ACCEPTS NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR MISCALCULATIONS ARISING FROM GUESSWORK.

SIZE LENGTH
S/M 18 CM
M/L 20 CM

LENGTHS CORRESPOND TO THE PIECE LAID FLAT IN A STRAIGHT HORIZONTAL LINE.

SHOULD YOUR REQUIREMENTS FALL OUTSIDE THE ABOVE PARAMETERS, CUSTOM SIZING IS AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST.

PLEASE DIRECT ALL ENQUIRIES TO:

HELLO@TDSJWLR.COM OR VIA INSTAGRAM AT @TDS.JWLR

SIZE GUIDE

DEAD SERIOUS JEWELLERY CO. ACCEPTS NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR MISCALCULATIONS ARISING FROM GUESSWORK.

SIZE BIG-BALL NECKLACESMALL-BALL NECKLACEBRACELETFITS WRIST
S/M 40 CM43.5 CM18 CM15–17 CM
M/L 45 CM48.5 CM20 CM17–19 CM

LENGTHS CORRESPOND TO THE INNER DIAMETER OF THE CLOSED PIECE, LAID FLAT IN A PERFECT CIRCLE. CHIEF CEO WEARS AN S/M IN PHOTOS.

THE SMALL-BALL NECKLACE RUNS LONGER, AS IT IS DESIGNED TO BE WRAPPED AROUND BIGGER BALLS.

SHOULD YOUR REQUIREMENTS FALL OUTSIDE THE ABOVE PARAMETERS, CUSTOM SIZING IS AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST.

PLEASE DIRECT ALL ENQUIRIES TO:

HELLO@TDSJWLR.COM OR VIA INSTAGRAM AT @TDS.JWLR

SIZE GUIDE

DEAD SERIOUS JEWELLERY CO. ACCEPTS NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR MISCALCULATIONS ARISING FROM GUESSWORK.

SIZE NECKLACEBRACELETFITS WRIST
S/M 39 CM17 CM15–17 CM
M/L 43 CM20 CM18–20 CM

LENGTHS CORRESPOND TO THE INNER DIAMETER OF THE CLOSED PIECE, LAID FLAT IN A PERFECT CIRCLE. CHIEF CEO WEARS AN S/M IN PHOTOS.

SHOULD YOUR REQUIREMENTS FALL OUTSIDE THE ABOVE PARAMETERS, CUSTOM SIZING IS AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST.

PLEASE DIRECT ALL ENQUIRIES TO:

HELLO@TDSJWLR.COM OR VIA INSTAGRAM AT @TDS.JWLR

SIZE GUIDE

PLEASE VERIFY ALL MEASUREMENTS PRIOR TO SUBMITTING YOUR ORDER.

SIZE LENGTH
XS 40 CM
S 45 CM
M 50 CM
L 55 CM

LENGTHS CORRESPOND TO THE CHAIN LAID IN ONE STRAND, NOT IN A CIRCLE.

SHOULD YOUR REQUIREMENTS FALL OUTSIDE THE ABOVE PARAMETERS, CUSTOM SIZING IS AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST.

PLEASE DIRECT ALL ENQUIRIES TO:

HELLO@TDSJWLR.COM OR VIA INSTAGRAM AT @TDS.JWLR

SIZE GUIDE ›

XS — 100,00 €
S — 300,00 €
M — 500,00 €
L — 5,000,00 €

...JUST KIDDING!

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